Please Be Quiet!

We all know someone either personally or via friends that seems to enjoy the sound of their own voice, sometimes a bit too much!  Well guess what in my journey to recognize who I am as an adult, a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt and a friend I have realized this at times is ME!  I know how dare I go there about myself.  I mean we all have our flaws or character defects.  Sadly, this is only one of my many that are on the table to be chopped away at!

I thought the best way to start addressing things such as this flaw would be to say it out loud?!  Right?  I mean we all feel better when we talk about things good or bad.  Getting it off your chest so to speak!  Months ago a very important person came to me upset and said someone very close to them pointed out this flaw in them.  But when they were told this they were told in kind of a harsh way.  They were told that those around them think this too, but wouldn’t ever say it to her face.  I knew exactly what/when this conversation was about/from/had.  I’m able to be very open with this person and I know she is with me.  So after she told me and said “I know I do this I’m working on it.”  I said well I didn’t say it to the person who called you out but it has come up with others.  I know it’s a challenge for you, as it is for me.  I provided specific instances when she did it to me.  As sometimes I don’t think we realize what we are doing.  Weather it be over talking people, one up’ing someones story, or simply talking too much!  It was after this conversation I realized I 100% do this same thing.  I will admit I do all of the above😢.  The challenge in this is moving forward and correcting this flaw.  Ha now this is where it gets fun!  I’m soooo kidding as I suck at this whole changing thing.  I find myself sitting to talk to Joe about something and he is an AMAZING listener so I tend to own conversations at time.  By the time it comes his turn I’m burnt out by all I just shared and really don’t care to listen.  This is where I am completely wrong and where I find a part of me inside pissed at myself. What makes what I have to say more important then what he or anyone in my life has to say?!

So I have started to plan out things a bit.  I know your thinking plan out what you talk about?  Yes!  I have started to go into conversations with a little reminder to myself before they start talking to remember to shut up and allow it to be a conversation and not just me hearing myself talk!  Again, I’m still learning as I went walking with a dear friend recently and after we were done I wanted to talk more and at that moment it dawned on me.  I took over the talking in this conversation which lasted about 5 miles!  I have to say I don’t do it on purpose nor do I do it as I feel like my story that is similar is any better than theirs.  I guess its more of I can relate so let me share my experience.  When really sometimes people just want to be listened to.  They don’t care if you have had a similar experience or not.  So an opportunity to get fresh air, exercise, and be with another adult turned into me leaving feeling like a bad friend.  I’ve worked a lot on not overthinking things six counseling sessions and I can say that I have went from one of the biggest over thinkers you can meet to someone who has started understanding that over thinking isn’t a good use of my time or energy.  If I’m concerned about something address it and move on!

At this point becoming a better me is a work in progress.  Everything takes work in life including motherhood, being a wife, a great daughter, sister and friend.  But I know I will get there even if I trip a million times.  I will get to a point when I am the listener I expect out of those I surround myself with to be.  The struggle is real friends but until next time keep listening!  Cheers🍻

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Desserts, Desserts…Who doesn’t love dessert!?

Hello!  Happy Monday to you all!  So this weekend was a busy one.  We celebrated K’s 5th birthday with family and his classmates on Friday after school.  Eighteen little kids, Darth Vader, A Nut Allergy, A Few Exhausted Moms, and DESSERT!  Ok so as I re-read this I think none of this sounds fun.  I instantly think of the saying “Not my monkey, Not my circus!” Then I realize no this was my circus and I loved almost every second of it.  All but one of these kids had never been to my house but every parent had no concern they were in any danger.  I say this as they were practically running back to their cars once we said our hellos!  I can promise you I don’t shame them for these actions I applaud them.  All parents need a break from time to time even if only two hours.  Those of you that stayed with me for the party I thank you.  Next time wear your gym shoes and run!! LOL! So the best part of K’s party was of course Darth Vader coming and playing games, doing Jedi training and going on a hunt for Darth Mal; which freaked the heck out of a few little girls!  The second best part for the kids was dessert.  I think the adults would have been happy with just dessert.  Anyway, I made a Darth Vader cake or I should say I attempted.  I’ve had cake orders weekly lately and K’s cake was one of three for this weekend.  I won’t lie this was the most challenging cake for me thus far.  It turned out OK I definitely know what I would do next time.  Live and learn and as S says “mom it doesn’t matter how it looks.  It just has to taste good!”  You know what S I wish I could take that spirit with everything in life.  I’m working towards that (see previous post for more on that.)

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For K’s cake I did a chocolate and yellow cake with buttercream frosting.  The requests for frosted as to fondant covered cakes has definitely increased lately which is much harder for me but I’m grateful to those that challenge me.  As practice makes perfect; right?!  So some things that challenged me in doing Darth…I should have colored my fondant when I made it but didn’t so getting it to the shade of black I wanted was a task!  Then when I built the cake I didn’t follow too many directions and found out later I should have done a bowl cake for my top.  So this challenged me as I was layering very tiny pieces of cake.  Last, I ran out of buttercream in order to get a nice crumb frosted base below the fondant.  I decided to do chocolate over which was very silly.  Your saying why didn’t you make more buttercream?  Well it was Friday; day of the party and I had no time so I thought I would compromise a bit I mean I knew the taste would be great.  It just was NOT smooth what so ever.  Again, haven’t worked with this method enough to have mastered.  Silly, Silly, Amanda and a bit stubborn.  We all know there’s a youtube how to video for this!  But no!  I always have had to learn the hard way!  Now I was ready to roll out the fondant and starting with the face it was laying great then I went to press the eyes and nose/mouth area to the frosting.  Well remember the non smooth surface the chocolate created?  Ya well it came through my fondant like razor blades.  This is typically when I take a deep breath and say “Amanda if it looks like doo-doo, there are always cupcakes at the store.”  So I used small strips to reinforce the areas I knew were sure to push thru.  Then went back over with a large piece of fondant and this worked!  K at this point said this does not look like Darth Vader it looks like a dog!  I said well doubt all you want you will see Darth in some way or another when I’m done!  The rest went ok the helmet I struggled at getting it just the right length’s on the sides but doing much longer I would have needed to set on a different surface for presenting.  So here is the final result and guess what.  One of my friends who hadn’t had one of my cakes before said “Amanda this is really good!” I instantly thought “DAMN S is such a smart kid.”  It’s about the taste so if you ever get the urge to try your hand at your kids cake I say go for it!  If not give me a call I’m happy to give it a whirl!

Next cake up was for a family that their little boy is in kindergarten at the same school as S & K!  They had me do their daughters Anna/Elsa cake a few weeks ago.  Her husband requested my yellow cake with buttercream frosting for his 40th birthday last weekend and then for their sons birthday they asked me to do a construction cake very simple using buttercream.  I requested the use of Oreo pieces and the little guy said yes that would work! This cake was a breeze compared to K’s Friday challenge but I think it turned out great and just like his sister he was appreciative.  His sister provided potentially the best reaction I’ve ever had to one of my cakes.  She went absolutely bananas over her cake!  Huge eyes, and a lot of cheering.  Three year olds innocence is something that needs to be bottled up.  I will also provide that the other side of a three year old you know the tantrums, NO’s, leave me alone’s that well… that can stay as far away as possible!  Anyway, this cake was fun to do and I’m glad this family has trusted the desserts for their celebrations in me.

Last I had received an interesting text or not really interesting as to unexpected!  It started “Hi Amanda!  This is Ricki’s dad and I wanted to see if you could do a cheesecake for my birthday this Monday?” Now I say this was unexpected as this family I did their daughter’s birthday cake last weekend and his wife text me after.  She said her son called this cake “definitely a wedding cake.” So four tiers can be more than we expect.  Yes I could have brought them two tiers but then I had two others that would be thrown out.  We all know you don’t throw away dessert!  So I said what the heck their getting all the cake!  For their daughter I did chocolate and yellow cake, cream cheese frosting, fondant, sixlets for beads and buttercream flowers.  Back to dad I say yes I would love to.  So I gave him options of what I do best.  He went with the turtle cheesecake which is always a good choice I mean who doesn’t love a turtle then you add some cream cheese and pretty much your result is dessert heaven!  Cheesecakes don’t typically give me any challenges its more in watching it in those last ten minutes as it’s all in the jiggle.  All cheesecakes have a different jiggle when looking for the perfect doneness!

So with all this said I completely understand why my grandfather a very wise man used to say “you always start with dessert, as you don’t know when your going to go!” On that note have a great rest of your Monday and until next time!  Cheers🍻

Buttercream Frosting Recipe: http://www.chef-in-training.com/2015/10/perfect-buttercream-frosting/

Marshmallow Fondant Recipe:http://thecakeblog.com/2014/04/marshmallow-fondant-recipe.html

Turtle Cheesecake Recipe: Turtle Cheesecake-WoodenSpoon