Please Be Quiet!

We all know someone either personally or via friends that seems to enjoy the sound of their own voice, sometimes a bit too much!  Well guess what in my journey to recognize who I am as an adult, a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt and a friend I have realized this at times is ME!  I know how dare I go there about myself.  I mean we all have our flaws or character defects.  Sadly, this is only one of my many that are on the table to be chopped away at!

I thought the best way to start addressing things such as this flaw would be to say it out loud?!  Right?  I mean we all feel better when we talk about things good or bad.  Getting it off your chest so to speak!  Months ago a very important person came to me upset and said someone very close to them pointed out this flaw in them.  But when they were told this they were told in kind of a harsh way.  They were told that those around them think this too, but wouldn’t ever say it to her face.  I knew exactly what/when this conversation was about/from/had.  I’m able to be very open with this person and I know she is with me.  So after she told me and said “I know I do this I’m working on it.”  I said well I didn’t say it to the person who called you out but it has come up with others.  I know it’s a challenge for you, as it is for me.  I provided specific instances when she did it to me.  As sometimes I don’t think we realize what we are doing.  Weather it be over talking people, one up’ing someones story, or simply talking too much!  It was after this conversation I realized I 100% do this same thing.  I will admit I do all of the above😢.  The challenge in this is moving forward and correcting this flaw.  Ha now this is where it gets fun!  I’m soooo kidding as I suck at this whole changing thing.  I find myself sitting to talk to Joe about something and he is an AMAZING listener so I tend to own conversations at time.  By the time it comes his turn I’m burnt out by all I just shared and really don’t care to listen.  This is where I am completely wrong and where I find a part of me inside pissed at myself. What makes what I have to say more important then what he or anyone in my life has to say?!

So I have started to plan out things a bit.  I know your thinking plan out what you talk about?  Yes!  I have started to go into conversations with a little reminder to myself before they start talking to remember to shut up and allow it to be a conversation and not just me hearing myself talk!  Again, I’m still learning as I went walking with a dear friend recently and after we were done I wanted to talk more and at that moment it dawned on me.  I took over the talking in this conversation which lasted about 5 miles!  I have to say I don’t do it on purpose nor do I do it as I feel like my story that is similar is any better than theirs.  I guess its more of I can relate so let me share my experience.  When really sometimes people just want to be listened to.  They don’t care if you have had a similar experience or not.  So an opportunity to get fresh air, exercise, and be with another adult turned into me leaving feeling like a bad friend.  I’ve worked a lot on not overthinking things six counseling sessions and I can say that I have went from one of the biggest over thinkers you can meet to someone who has started understanding that over thinking isn’t a good use of my time or energy.  If I’m concerned about something address it and move on!

At this point becoming a better me is a work in progress.  Everything takes work in life including motherhood, being a wife, a great daughter, sister and friend.  But I know I will get there even if I trip a million times.  I will get to a point when I am the listener I expect out of those I surround myself with to be.  The struggle is real friends but until next time keep listening!  Cheers🍻

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